Each one of us learns so many lessons from life. That is why, to me, birthdays are a time of reflection on how far I’ve come and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. So when I turned forty this year in March, I had the opportunity to look back and reflect on my life, and I realized I had grown into the woman I am today. It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m constantly amazed at what can happen when I approach life with an open heart, a curious mind, and a flaming desire to keep learning and serving.
Here are the 40 life lessons I’ve learned over all these years that have had an impact on my life:
1. God’s plan is far superior to anything you have planned. Humble yourself to God because He takes your messes, rearranges them, and always creates something amazing that you could never have imagined.
2. Pray and give thanks everyday. Having a thankful heart has changed my entire perspective and outlook on life. And I have learned that one of the best ways to experience the power of thanksgiving is through prayer. In addition, since 2021, I started filling in my gratitude jar with the list of things I am grateful for for that day.
3. Family is everything. While the world is becoming more modern and advanced, my husband and I teach our son that the meaning of family and what it represents remains the same — it is the strongest unit in one’s life because, no matter what situation you are in, your family will never leave you and will always stand alongside you to overcome the hardships in life; and it is the fundamental unit of society because communities thrive when families are strong. Families are the first school, and the teachings strengthen our bonds and give us reasons to stand by each other as we share the same values. It has shaped our lives by instilling values of love, respect, faith, hope, compassion, trust, loyalty, happiness, and belonging. I am blessed that I have a big, loving, and supportive family, and growing up in a loving home provides a solid foundation for anyone.
4. Parenting is easy. It has been a blissful and joy-filled experience for me to be a parent to my one and only child for the past fifteen years. I tried to balance everything — the relationship with my son, his academics, him learning a new skill, and so on — and set the right priorities. I discovered that having a close relationship and a secure attachment to him made everything else easier.
5. Empower your child to dream big by not making your goals and dreams his or hers. Passion, I believe, fuels purpose. My son will be more motivated to work harder to make his dreams come true if they are anchored to a clear vision and driven by his interests. And when failure, discouragement, and fear keep him from pursuing, my husband and I can be the voice of reason that encourages him to embrace the challenges ahead. As parents, we play a vital role in inspiring him to have the courage, confidence, and certainty to dream by championing his passion, teaching him the value of resilience, and equipping him with the tools he needs to succeed, such as the right knowledge and skills, and providing him with learning opportunities that broaden his perspective of the world.
6. Living below your means is essential for your health and well-being. When you manage your money properly, you avoid debts, reduce financial worries and general stress, and enjoy the peace that comes with financial freedom and security, as well as enjoy family life. For me, “living below your means” simply means spending less than what I earn each month by making a budget, tracking my expenses and spending, not using credit cards, avoiding loans, and cutting out unnecessary spending, all while enjoying all the things I love in life. I also make sure that my budget covers my daily expenses, that I can pay for any unexpected expenses, and that I plan for the future.
7. Keep the spark alive. Whatever life throws at you and your partner, it’s important that you both make time to date each other, connect with each other, and seek new shared experiences in order to keep your relationship exciting, healthy, and the spark alive.
8. Live a life of service. Help others as much as you can. Volunteering as a family is even better because it brings your family members closer together and allows your children to connect to things larger than themselves and allows them to see the world through the eyes of others. Sharing our time and other resources motivates me and my family to put our shared values and beliefs into action while making a positive impact in our community through the services we provide and being a significant source of inspiration for others.
9. Celebrate life everyday and everywhere. It is important because it is a sign of hope and a triumph over adversity. It also reminds me to enjoy the journey and boosts my confidence. I consider it as a mindset that allows me to pursue big things in life, without sacrificing the small things that make life worth living.
10. Be a good friend. I’d like to think I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to friendships. Good friendships require effort and give-and-take to develop, maintain, and nurture, because good friends are good for your health and well-being. Good friends keep me from feeling isolated and lonely, and they allow me to provide much-needed companionship. Although having a diverse network of friends and acquaintances is beneficial, I feel a greater sense when I cultivate close, meaningful relationships that will support me through thick and thin — celebrate in good times and provide support during bad times. It’s important that I am a good friend and that I surround myself with good friends by being kind, being a good listener, opening up, showing that I can be trusted, making myself available, and managing my nerves with mindfulness.
11. Commit yourself to lifelong learning. Life is better when you are open to new experiences. It is the self-motivated pursuit of knowledge, new skills, or professional development. I make it a point to never stop learning; I seek to grow and take advantage of every opportunity to learn, whether personally or professionally, by learning a skill or a hobby outside of my profession, because it not only enhances my social inclusion, active citizenship, and individual development, it also increases my competitiveness and employability. Plus, learning something new is also more enjoyable and fulfilling. So, say yes to the things that will make your soul come alive, because learning makes life interesting!
12. Satisfaction comes from within. I realized that you cannot buy, borrow, or steal satisfaction. Every person experiences it differently, and it is important to understand that what makes you satisfied may not make another satisfied. It allows me to reframe my thinking, refocus, and look at situations from other perspectives in order to achieve satisfaction. I realized that greater satisfaction in all aspects of life leads to greater productivity, success, and happiness.
13. Fall in love with the process. Everything we do seems to be measured by our instant results. Our goals, we believe, are all about the end result. But don’t become too fixated on your goals because the only way to achieve them is to fall in love with the process of what you do — work hard, be consistent, and be patient — because the process will help you refocus your energy, pay attention, and appreciate the results. One of my goals is to stay fit, so I may need to lose a few pounds. But the only way for me to get there is to fall in love with the process of eating healthy and exercising consistently. Also, if you are an athlete, the thought of practice does not always seem as glamorous as game day, when there’s no one cheering you on as you take that foul shot. Taking time to appreciate the endless hours of practice while eventually developing a process will make those moments even more worthwhile and exciting. So, take pleasure in the process as well as the outcome.
14. Don’t sweat over small stuff. Instead, I streamline — simplify, organize, and reduce. I write down the things that bother me or cause me stress throughout the day or week. Then, I cross out the minor items on my list and reduce my world to the major issues that matter. Then, I embrace them and focus on dealing with them in a stress-free fashion. What about the small stuff? I just simply let it go…
15. Simplicity is always best! It makes things easy, brings clarity instead of confusion and a decision instead of doubt. Living simply entails getting rid of the unnecessary and focusing your time and energy on the things that are most important to you. I have realized that when I simplify, I am left with a meaningful life — a life lived on my own terms, as I have the time and space to pursue my passions and interests and create the life I truly desire. Furthermore, living a simple life allows me to be free, and true happiness is often found in the simplest things.
16. Learn to say no. And avoid being overcommitted to people or things. We all have limited energy, time, and resources, and it is our responsibility to use them wisely. Saying no allows me to direct my time and energy toward the people and aspects of my life that truly deserve it. I have realized that some people are actually grateful for our clarity and honesty, and they respect our boundaries. Those who do not are not worth my time and energy.
17. Travel more. Traveling is one of the important parts of my life because it allows me to get away from my hectic schedule. In addition to exploring new places, cultures, cuisines, and ways of life, traveling allows me to broaden my horizons and move me in new directions, recharge my energy, unplug from the pulls and pushes of daily life, improve my mental health and well-being, and forget my worries, frustrations, and fears. Because life is too short, why not travel the world and make memories?
18. Read more books and read them everyday. I have noticed that putting time aside to lose myself in a good book regularly has far-reaching and life-changing effects. Reading is a healthy part of my daily routine because it relaxes me, improves the quality of my sleep, makes me more emphatic, broadens my knowledge, and gives me pleasure. In 2018, I started setting my reading goal of one book per week, and I’m glad I’m sticking to it despite my hectic schedule.
19. Commit yourself to regular physical activity. Staying active is a natural mood booster that keeps the doctors away, and it is one of the best ways to keep our bodies healthy and improve our quality of life by making us feel, look, and live better. I am an advocate of staying fit for free by doing my daily morning exercise (at least 15 minutes walk-at-home and yoga) in our tiny living room! It does not necessitate going to the gym or purchasing a fancy workout suit; instead, all that is required is consistency and determination. I have noticed that when I am fit, I have a lot of energy throughout the day.
20. Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes and work out why your choice was wrong. It demonstrates that you’re human, that you have the ability to reflect on your actions, that you have the moral courage to step into the breach and hold your hands up, and it says a lot about your character — acting with integrity. I believe that having the courage to actually admit a mistake and take action is essential to achieving success. Also, I have learned that people will empathize and understand more than you think if you admit that you make mistakes.
21. Unplug, and take a break from screens. Powering down from time to time promotes a healthier and happier lifestyle because it allows you to reset and refocus on appreciation and gratitude for all you’ve been given, paves the way for simple pleasures like reading, walking, or building a puzzle, and urges you to connect to the natural world. In my home, we make mealtimes a no-phone zone and phones should be silenced before you keep it somewhere because notifications are distracting, so that we can savor the meal, converse naturally, and make each mealtime a wonderful event. Furthermore, we make sure that we do not use electronic devices at least 15 minutes before going to bed.
22. You can’t make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try. You must know when people need your help and when they simply want to take advantage of your selflessness and generosity. Also, if you base your entire self-worth on other people’s happiness with you, you’re doomed to fail because it’s exhausting and unhealthy, and it is simply impossible to make everyone happy all the time. I have learned to accept that not everyone will agree with what I do or say or stand for. Furthermore, while external validation feels great, it’s only temporary because it wears off quickly and you need it again. It’s filling a void where confidence and self-worth should be. After all, even if you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, you’re still pretty.
23. Happiness is really a choice. It is about how you view life, and that perspective determines everything. Sometimes you see your present life as either worse than you expected or better than you deserve. Also, money and happiness are not the same thing. Because money can satisfy both needs and wants and can afford you luxury and comfort. Well, there’s nothing wrong with indulging in luxuries, just as there’s nothing wrong with being poor. However, over the years, I have realized that the only luxury I have is the ability to wake up every morning, and when I start my day with a grateful heart, happiness comes from within.
24. Self-confidence is only gained. Through the years, I have realized that self-confidence is a very important aspect in life because it is about being more positive, valuing yourself, trusting your judgment, admitting and learning from your failures and mistakes, and feeling your worth regardless of any imperfections or what others think about you. And I’ve learned over the years that the only way to build my confidence is to always keep on trying. It’s like trying and failing. Please try again. Fail yet again. More attempts equals fewer failures. Try one more time, and then you succeed.
25. You will make mistakes, you will fail, but learn from them. Change is one of the few constants in our world, may it be in your career, where you live, whom you love, technology, and what you value. Change brings about unfamiliar situations, which bring about mistakes. Plus, life is hard but a beautiful adventure — you will experience highs and lows, but your situation will get better. So, no matter what you do, making mistakes is an unavoidable part of life, and they can be excellent learning opportunities that lead to success. Even if it is a difficult lesson to learn because you have to confront your bruised ego and hurt pride, you will grow, flourish, and become a better person, and it will undoubtedly make all the difference.
26. Home-cooked meals are the best! Home-cooked food not only provides comfort food and inspires creativity, it also strengthens family bonds and connects us to our roots. There is a sense of security that sometimes brings tears to my eyes when I smell a familiar aroma in the air or taste that particular spiciness in the air. Food, indeed, brings us together.
27. Seven hours of sleep and a short nap after lunch are a must! It’s the foundation of good health; it gives me energy, and improves my mood. Without enough sleep and a nap, I am weak and grumpy!
28. Spend quality time with family. My family will only be a happy one if I give it time, such as eating dinner together, discovering new things, volunteering as a family, etc. Spending quality time with family increases happiness and satisfaction, helps cope with challenges, inculcates family values, instills a feeling of security and confidence in children, and so much more. It encourages me to live a healthier lifestyle and motivates me to be the best version of myself.
29. Work-life balance is a key. There is a need to maintain a work-life balance in which your personal and professional lives are separated without allowing one to interfere with the other because both are important and should not be neglected. When you spend too much time at work, you will begin to neglect important people in your life. Also, you need to take care of yourself, your wellbeing, and your family. And by organizing yourself and managing your time effectively, you will be surprised at how much you can accomplish in less time.
30. Find a hobby that you enjoy. Having a hobby that you enjoy brings you joy and enriches your life by providing you with something fun to do in your leisure time, allowing you to learn new skills, and reducing your boredom. For me, it’s my blog, reading, baking and cooking, photography, and homemaking. I’ve discovered that once you find a hobby that you truly enjoy and are passionate about, you become hooked on it, and it becomes a part of your life that captivates you in a very personal way. Furthermore, my husband and I learned that finding a hobby and trying new things together that we both enjoy is the best way to reignite the spark and spice up our love for each other. In our case, we both like cooking and walking in the woods together.
31. Let go of grudges and bitterness! Because holding on to unforgiveness and hurt will only steal your joy. In my opinion, forgiveness doesn’t absolve someone of guilt and doesn’t mean what they did is right and acceptable. It means you’re letting go of resentment and thoughts of revenge and moving on. Learning to leave the past in the past and look to the future with hope for the best is the way to move forward. By accepting forgiveness, you accept peace and joy.
32. You must have systems in place for everything. A system for managing multiple tasks, information, and responsibilities that allows you to manage work in a coherent and structured manner while also creating an efficient workflow structure. I’m sure no one wants to wake up excited about systems, but I believe that without a system, you will fail.
33. For every action, there is a reaction. Choose your words and actions carefully. It is critical to consider the consequences and ensure that it will not have a negative impact on those around you before saying something, acting, or posting on social media. People may also be caught off guard by your message or fail to respond appropriately to your gestures. By thinking before you speak, you can save yourself from trouble and avoid hurting someone.
34. Patience is a virtue. In life, you will have to wait for a lot of things without feeling negative and frustrated. Great things take time and you need to learn to give time. When you become patient you will achieve your biggest goals and avoid making hasty decisions. Patience makes you a better person because you overcome any challenging situation with more flexibility.
35. Don’t take anything for granted. Appreciate what you have before it is gone — health, your family and friends, a job, business, possessions, and so on — because nothing in your life, including the people you love, is guaranteed to be there tomorrow. Circumstances such as pandemics, wars, climate change, etc. have thrown the world into a state of uncertainty, replacing the usual sense of collective security with omnipresent fears of losing what you have, including a loved one.
36. Every problem has a solution. Life is a beautiful journey — watch it unfold and be open to the shocks and surprises it may bring. Life can be difficult at times because of what you expected and what it has given you. There are some things we can control, while others are beyond our control. But every problem has a solution, just as every lock has a key. The best part is that everyone has an equal right to solve any problem that is thrown at them. While good times make your heart sing, bad times should make you tough enough to face life’s challenges. So enjoy life — believe and work hard that everything you desire will come true and that every problem has a solution; you just need to discover it.
37. Live life to the fullest! Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow will bring. So live life to the fullest by filling your life with gratitude and doing things that make you happy, such as traveling, trying out new things, raising a family, performing random acts of kindness, or anything else that involves finding meaning or purpose in what you do or how you spend your time.
38. Find beauty and joy in the little things. Life is made of little things. Every day, allow yourself to see and enjoy the beauty and joy in small things — a walk in the woods, a chilly breeze, an unexpected compliment, money found in your trouser pocket, a colorful butterfly, your favorite song playing on the radio, a little child’s giggle, a cute little street, a cup of tea with a good book, or sand on your toes — they’re the precious moments that fill our lives with meaning and happiness.
39. Be kind and nice to people. Being nice to others every day is an important way to spread kindness and positivity. Showing kindness to others does not have to be doing something big or life-changing. In fact, the smallest acts of kindness, such as a moment of support in a time of need, a word of encouragement, a helping hand to carry a heavy load, or simply a smile, can often have the greatest impact. Kindness makes you smarter because it requires you to think about others as well as yourself.
40. Embrace all your quirks. It’s liberating to embrace the full me and know that is what makes me so unique. I have met people who told me, “You are the shortest woman I have met.” “Why are you so small?” “You are weird” or “You are interesting” or “You are one of a kind”, I am grateful, because at least I am not a carbon copy of everyone else.
I may have a few gray hairs now, but these life lessons serve as a constant reminder of my life story. I celebrate and turn a new page in my life’s book. I can’t wait to learn even more over the next ten years, and I’m thrilled to have you all along on this journey.
Little Lilly Meets the World 